I am not here for you i am here for me

insta: isjald
Posted on 23rd Sep at 5:30 PM

wow i am SO uncomfortable with the way I am acting these days. like i am being a shithead straight up and it is not ok. i want to do BETTER. i am aiming for greatness.my anxiety and mania and depression and self loathing are not choices tho i rly have to muddle through it rn, im in it severely rn, i recite the mantras of how shit i am readily rn. but my actions arenot ok. so, even in my shit i have to act better anywyas blah blah

Posted on 22nd Sep at 7:54 PM, with 31 notes
"baguette and tag it"
french warehouse 13 (via bettervillains)
Posted on 22nd Sep at 7:51 PM

me achieving what i want to means ima work

which means:

reading more than i want to

writing til i cry like every montage ever

making priorities, setting boundaries 

making new friends, “networking” (lol have barely left my house in two weeks)

accessing the right portal of the internet

producing without expectations

anyways this is mostly just me wanting to be accountable to myself bc I wanna do a lot and dont ever share my goals/process publicly bc i am scared i will fail and everyone will know it (i have failed in secret many times over) but rly i dont care about failure rn, that’s not even on my radar. anyways bye

Posted on 22nd Sep at 7:42 PM, with 1,188 notes


Dress by Yohji Yamamoto, shoes by Darkside, shot by Mariano Vivanco for i-D

Tagged: #ok,
Posted on 22nd Sep at 3:13 PM

i have a disingenuous face (not to be read as a rejection of emotion; it stands communicating feeling/a force) in the sense that it is unlevel. It produces mountains and sand dunes and a sense of thinking on the subject of redness, and how it will kill me in my sleep.

Posted on 22nd Sep at 3:08 PM

me vs the beauty machine

Posted on 22nd Sep at 2:49 PM

i feel severely demented in my appearance today. like i cannot grasp beauty or glamour or whatever i am too disembodied

Tagged: #body image ///,
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