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I am not here for you i am here for me

Posted on 29th Jul at 11:09 PM, with 5 notes

I JUST TOOK THE LAST SHOWER IN THE SCARIEST FUCKING SHOWER EVER AND THIS IS MY LAST NIGHT IN THIS HELL HOLE AND HONESTLY IM SOOO FUXIN HAPPY LIKE YALLLLLLL I NEVER HAVE TO SEE THIS SHITFUCK OF A PLACE AGAIN AFTER TOMORROW!!!!!

Posted on 29th Jul at 1:29 PM, with 1 note

TONIGHT IS THE LAST NIGHT IN MY SHITDICK OF AN APARTMENT HELLO HELLO IS THIS REAL??????????

Posted on 29th Jul at 1:15 PM, with 31 notes
Anonymous asked: Can you discuss why the artifact storyline in Past Imperfect bothers you? I would love to hear your awesome meta on it :)

thecomet13:

amtrak12:

*long exhale through pursed lips* Okay, let’s see if I can meta this without also ranting about the horrible Sam characterization and the lack of thought given to Myka despite this being a Myka story. (Actually, wait, the latter might be relevant to the inclusion of the artifact.)

Anyone else who is irritated by the artifact in Past Imperfect, feel free add your thoughts to this. I know I’m far from the only one who was bugged. (And for comments/discussion points that are pro-artifact, see thecomet13's reblog here)

Let’s start this meta with the Pilot. Myka enters the show as someone whose walls are up in full force. This is a defense mechanism likely fostered in her while growing up with her father’s mix of neglect and abuse. The reasons it’s triggered here are her lover and partner Sam Martino was killed on duty during a case they were both working, and Myka feels that’s her fault. Six months and a transfer later, Myka still deeply blames herself. This blame and guilt are Myka’s entire season 1 arc.

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Ok, read it, I was tagged in it so I reply.

I honestly don’t understand why you feel like the artifact ruined Myka’s character arc of S1. It doesn’t matter whose fault was or wasn’t, what matters is that the guilt that Myka carried inside in the first season was real and that she learnt how overcome it. The reason of Sam’s death being an artifact doesn’t make her arc meaningless or less valid, because the point was: it wasn’t Myka’s fault! Artifact or no artifact, it wasn’t her fault, and even if she was actually late, it was not her fault.

Also, I don’t think it says that nobody can work at the Warehouse without a previous connection, cause only Pete, Myka and Claudia have one (well, two when it comes to Claudia…and I didn’t really like the whole Claire storyline, cause it seemed like a little too much…one sibling taken away by an artifact is ok, two is too much and poor writing). 

But anyway…I agree on some of the things you’ve written. I think your meta is really good and I don’t necessarily think that that episode was well written (it wasn’t) or that they made the right call by revisiting Sam’s death after so long. But considering the episode DID happen, then I’m not opposite to the idea of having Myka being connected to the Warehouse before she started working there.

As I said in the other reblog, I liked the fact that Myka’s defining moment (Sam’s death) was linked to the Warehouse, her happy place, but also the “place” that took Sam away from her and that changed her so deeply. I would have loved to see Myka struggling with this truth.

I don’t know guys, I don’t even know how to properly explain my thoughts, cause I’m sure that, even after this post, my reasoning isn’t that clear. Anyway, I just liked that the Warehouse is Myka’s happiest place but also the cause of one of the worst events in her life. To be honest, it makes me think of love itself: the person that we love is the one that makes us the happiest, but also the one who can break our heart. They can give us blissful happiness, but also excruciating pain. And that is what the Warehouse did to Myka, somehow. I just liked that.

i really appreciate both of these commentaries. i honestly really have always liked that episode/artifact and re-watched it last night after reading this. i think it reveals so much of myka and her back story to us. all i want to say is this: 

  • i like that her back story is connected to the warehouse. i think it tugs at a theme we see in other characters’ struggles (and the show as a whole) that artifacts are everywhere, there is endless wonder at work always, and you don’t really understand it until you know it. maybe there are artifacts in all our lives and we just don’t know it yet, and i like that positioning. (however this can be done badly, ex: (as we all know) claudia’s sister)
  • the “partner” issue is a real non-issue to me, i just thought of it like the pete-myka-claudia-steve dynamic, where they shift and flow. 
  • this episode did not rattle the s1 character arc for me but added to it, although it could have been done way better and explored more

honestly this is just so fun to have warehouse talk again on my dashboard and this convo made me question my connection to this episode. (esp as this is before shit went to hell and i didn’t question the show at all at this point, i was too in love)

Posted on 29th Jul at 9:22 AM

also can i just say there is a certain website that has lana del whatever up their butt and keep paying ppl to write like deep articles about her ~cultural impact~ like there is a new one at least once a week and like honestly MOVE ON LIKE SHE IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT 

Posted on 29th Jul at 9:16 AM

prayers for the next doomtree album:

-allows sims and cecil on two tracks maximum

-have all the songs just be dessa, pos, and mike

-actually just ditch sims

-and god for the love of all that is good add lizzo to your crew

Posted on 28th Jul at 6:43 PM

These days are moving SO slow and i have more to pack and clean but in two days i dont ever ever have to see this shit hole of a house again and i get to move in w the hottest babe in town!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck time rn

Posted on 28th Jul at 4:10 PM
dappertranarchy this is so sweet! You are good there is no change just my current name! It is diff from my legal name bc my insurance is being held over my head by a dickshit. Thanks for checkin
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dappertranarchy this is so sweet! You are good there is no change just my current name! It is diff from my legal name bc my insurance is being held over my head by a dickshit. Thanks for checkin

Posted on 28th Jul at 11:53 AM, with 3 notes

hi i finally applied for a job and im 10000% qualified and it is shit money but i would have insurance and i would be able to change my name legally and take classes for free so like i cant get down on myself im doing what i need to do in order to achieve my dreams and this is a stepping stone and blah blah blah someone give me a job

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